Dawn is the advanced lived experience development lead for Knowledge and Understanding Framework (KUF) training for Hertfordshire’s NHS mental health Trust (HPFT) staff.

The KUF training is the national training for staff to help improve their confidence and competence when supporting people who may have a diagnosis of personality disorder. I will have been in that post for two years. I have a lived experience of mental health difficulties and I used the Trust’s community, crisis, and inpatient services on and off a long time. It was a conscious decision I made to come and work at the Trust where I received my care and treatment from.

Why I’m sharing my story

People could say that my being here, in the role that I have, is an inspiration to others and shows that recovery is possible, that hope exists, that opportunities can be found, and that a life worth living is achievable.

There are two main reasons I took this post. One was so that I could play my part in ensuring that, learning from my experiences, other people who use HPFT services get the best experience possible. For me, if one staff member attends the training that I deliver and gains a better understanding of the challenges that people with mental health issues face, which ultimately leads to the people using services having a better experience, then I have achieved what I set out to do.

The other reason lies hugely under the banner of inclusion. As someone who spent many years using services, I experienced the stigma and discrimination that seemed to be attached to my diagnostic label, and because of that stigma and discrimination, I also experienced exclusion. The real irony for me and others like me is that we already know we are different from those around us. We may struggle to navigate and manage some elements of everyday life, so being told that we are different perpetuates that cycle and sense of exclusion.

How do we break that cycle?

We educate, listen, learn, promote, and demonstrate kindness, care and compassion, and embrace difference and diversity.

By creating roles like the one I have, the lived experience role, we challenge that stigma and discrimination head-on by enabling people to bring their whole selves to the work.

I see myself as being in quite a privileged position. I don't have to fragment myself to do my job; my lived experience is embraced and accepted, and to some extent, it comes to work with me every day. I know others do not feel they have the same luxury, and we need to work on changing that for people. This needs to happen at all levels, across roles and organisations. Celebrating events like International Women's Day is a great way to explore how we start to do that. I don't have to pretend that I am something I'm not, I get to be a whole person in the work that I do, that's inclusion. I am very open about my journey and experiences and feel comfortable in my own skin, which I never thought I would feel when I started using services.

What changed?

In a nutshell, I did. For a very long time whilst using services, my reality was such that there was a strong possibility that my parents were going to end up burying me, and I kind of got into a pattern of simply accepting that as being part of my reality and believing that I was powerless to change it. What I did not do was acknowledge just how much time, effort, and energy I had put into moving away from that reality and creating a new reality for myself. Looking back on that now, I can acknowledge that that is inspirational. I stopped identifying myself as my diagnostic label. Instead, I use it as a learning tool for myself and others.

I'm a firm believer that our words create our world; the language we use about and towards ourselves not only impacts how we view ourselves, but how others see us too.

So, with the support, guidance, encouragement, and genuine care and compassion from my manager and colleagues over the last 2 years, I have learnt to see myself in a very different light. I reframe those negative and somewhat soul-destroying words of ‘I can’t do that’, ‘I don’t know how’, or’ I don’t’ understand’, to ones of ‘please explain that to me’, ‘show me how’ or ‘support me to learn how’. I have learnt to take moments to reflect upon the work I have achieved in my personal and professional life and to see the positive impact I am having on those I interact with.

So yes, I do now see myself as inspirational. I am living proof to those who use our services and those who deliver them that anything is possible.

So, I’m Dawn, I am a 50-year-old, peri-menopausal, openly gay woman, who recently got engaged and is getting married this year, who has experienced mental health challenges and difficulties, who now not only sees herself but allows her light to shine and makes no apology for doing so.

So, I encourage each of you here today to find your light, step into it and let it shine.