Living with PMDD: My Journey as a Mental Health Pharmacist

As a mental health pharmacist, I have spent much of my career supporting others in their recovery. What I did not expect was how much I would need to apply those same principles to my own life. For 16  years, I experienced a cycle of symptoms I could not explain. I felt like two very different versions of myself: one full of energy and confidence, the other anxious, overwhelmed, and barely able to function. During those times, I battled cyclical thoughts of feeling like an imposter, believing I was not good enough, and experiencing rejection sensitivity that made me withdraw. Eventually, I discovered that what I was experiencing had a name: Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).

While there is growing national attention on women’s health, particularly around perimenopause and menopause, PMDD remains under-recognised, affecting around 1 in 20 women. On average, it can take up to 12 years to receive a diagnosis. This was true for me too. My symptoms were often misunderstood and never explored further, and even I dismissed them as “just PMS.”

What is PMDD?

PMDD is a neuroendocrine disorder arising from the interaction between hormones and the brain. It is not a primary mental health condition, though its impact on mental health can be profound. PMDD is recognised in both the DSM-5 and ICD-11 (the diagnostic manuals used to diagnose mental health conditions), validating it as a genuine condition rather than “just PMS.”

Symptoms usually occur in the luteal phase, the two weeks before a period, and may include intense mood changes, anxiety, low energy, irritability, physical symptoms, and sometimes suicidal thoughts. Because these symptoms overlap with so many other conditions, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and ADHD, PMDD is often misdiagnosed, leading to delayed care, support and treatment.

Carrying Stigma and Finding Recovery

Even as a healthcare professional, I have carried, and sometimes still carry, stigma and shame about having PMDD. Part of me felt I should cope better or that I did not have the right to struggle. There are times when the intensity of my symptoms have led me to suicidal thoughts, yet on the outside I have tried to hold it together so no one would know. I thought I had to be the professional, always steady and capable, but inside I was struggling in silence.

None of us should feel shame for living with a health condition. PMDD can be difficult, but it does not mean I am weak. Recognising that PMDD does not define me has been vital. It is part of my life, but it is not who I am. Spreading awareness, talking openly, practising self-compassion, and making lifestyle changes have all been empowering steps.

Recovery for me has meant awareness and tracking, keeping a simple diary to anticipate difficult days, self-compassion, connecting with supportive networks, and prioritising gentle movement, nutrition, and rest. These steps help build resilience, even if they do not remove symptoms completely.

Why Awareness Matters

PMDD affects more than the individual. It can impact relationships, parenting, work, and self-esteem. By sharing my journey, I hope to reduce stigma and remind others that they are not alone. Early recognition allows for earlier support, and talking about PMDD helps others feel seen, validated, and empowered to begin their own recovery journey.

For me, recovery is not about perfection or fixing myself. It is about hope, resilience, and building a life that feels worth living.

Helpful Resources

• IAPMD – International Association for Premenstrual Disorders- International Association for Premenstrual Disorders
• Mind – Information on PMDD and mental health- What is PMDD? | Types of mental health problems | Mind
• NHS – Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

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