Couldn’t happen to me I thought. No, I’m one of the bold, brave ones, got to keep that smile on my face…. Nothing to see here. 

I had these thoughts for so long and then one day I tried the test of sitting in front of my mirror and talking to me, and then it hit me like my reflection screaming back … you’re not ok! That was the day I sought help and each day I’m getting better and better, climbing that emotional mountain, rock by rock. Honesty is such a big thing to deal with at challenging times, because life opinions, history have taught us to sort ourselves out, and all those negative thoughts seep in and you hide behind that curtain of doubt. But here’s the thing everyone! Open those curtains, step out and say loud and proud: “I am going to be honest with me and take that step to understanding myself better”. I am going to seek that help. I am going to be more open, I’m going to be me again. Mental health issues are nothing to be embarrassed about, nothing to hide behind and nothing to be dishonest about.

I read about the mirror game a long time ago. I’d  read about New Leaf Recovery and Wellbeing College around this time too and was a little dubious that there were people willing to give their time and energy and quite frankly love. To help us understand, learn and talk about our wellbeing. What’s the catch, I thought when I saw the classes offered, and I nervously signed up to a class face to face with other people. Oh, how was I going to get through this one! Nerves playing up, I stepped into that meeting and walked out a lighter shade of the person I was before. I can emphatically say it was the best journey I ever made that day! I didn’t fear the tears anymore, yes they came at random times, but I didn’t fear them; and they don’t show up so much these days!

I’m finally learning to be me… I’m learning to be the happier me again and actually enjoy sitting in front of that mirror for a weekly chat 😊. I’m honest about being honest with myself; and more important, and such a huge step now, I’m more honest with others about my mental health.

I have my own self-help plans in place; like a journal to hold my thoughts, each day I take time out and I write. I also collect words that resonate with me and stick them in my feel good guide; which is quite full! When I feel stressed or overwhelmed I read it. It’s essentially a book I made for me, to read the words from strangers that I have to shine my own light; and they don’t even know a simple word or phrase that they have written has helped a total stranger.

So I’ll say it loud and proud: there is no shame in being honest, don’t fear the tears, embrace them and move forward.