Sometimes the holidays make me feel worse. Christmas is this week. THIS WEEK! I hadn’t quite realised…. Perhaps it’s because this year it lands on a Sunday. Maybe it’s because I have been feeling stressed. I know I’m not the only one.

Many people are having Christmas alone. Many more have been hit hard by the rising cost of living. Just yesterday, a friend shared how upsetting it is when they feel they give more (gifts and themselves) than they receive in return.

I find it stressful choosing presents, doing extra planning and cooking, choosing which family and friends to see, meeting higher work demands and hosting more than usual. But, over time, I have learned what can help me keep stress, and depression, at bay… and I’m determined to have a good Christmas and Hannukah by using what I’ve learned from attending the New Leaf Recovery and Wellbeing College.

I have completed a wellbeing action plan; and I’ve shared some of the other things I’ll be doing, which includes:

The holidays are about celebration and joy. But sometimes, life, stress, and mental health challenges can impact how we experience this time of year.

Many people are spending Christmas and Hannukah alone. The rising cost of living makes gift-giving more expensive, and the pressure to find ‘the perfect gift’ of ‘equal value to the gift you might be given’ is challenging. It can also be disheartening when you feel you are giving more to the relationship than you receive.

Not to mention the stress that comes with additional planning, cooking, decorating, higher work demands and being pulled in too many directions if you are lucky enough to have friends and family who all want to see you at the same times.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, you are not alone. And there are some things you can do to make the holidays more enjoyable. Below are some of the tactics I’ve adopted since joining New Leaf Recovery and Wellbeing College, and they have helped immensely:

1. Reaching out. This year, I completed a well-being plan. Doing a wellbeing plan has helped me become aware of the signs and symptoms I experience when I’m not feeling well, what makes me feel better, and the support and services available to help me through the difficult times. I've printed and shared my plan with my family and friends, and they, too, now know how to support me.
2. Saying no and choosing me without feeling guilty. Sharing my wellbeing plan has made it easier to set some boundaries, which has helped my mental health immensely. I used to give in to please others, or I’d lie about what I was really doing. Now, when I'm not up for hosting or attending a Christmas party or cannot afford an elaborate gift, I can reach out and know they will understand.
3. Getting a good night's sleep. In the sleeping well course, I learned how poor sleep affects my mental well-being. The course gave me some good tactics, and I’ve noticed a boost in my immune system and energy levels.
4. Keeping a positivity jar. Fill a jar with notes full of positive affirmations, achievements, and things you're grateful for throughout the year and then read them at Christmas time to help you feel more positive.
5. Being creative. Being creative makes me feel good, gives me a sense of achievement, and helps my thoughts and feelings flow more clearly. I like to be creative through arts, crafts, journalling, and music.
6. Taking a break and being OK with doing nothing. I used to feel guilty during those rare moments to myself. Now, it’s become easier to cherish those times and actively carve out time for it. Since becoming more self-compassionate, the guilt has melted away. My favourite expression is: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
7. Using mindfulness and spirituality.  to ground me and help me concentrate and enjoy just ‘being’. Walking helps me feel more spiritual, as does playing music. These moments help me restore and reflect, and it’s probably been the most impactful tactic in helping me manage my mental health.
8. Exercising. I used to really enjoy exercise, but since gaining weight and experiencing true depression, it’s been harder than I thought to get back into it. And as much as I didn't want to admit that exercise helps, I’ve come to learn that it really does.
9. Making time to connect. Isolation made me think I was the only one going through these experiences, which was lonely and increased feelings of sadness. Whilst I now enjoy time to myself, I still make sure to carve out time to connect with others. We are social beings, after all, and laughter really does make things feel better.  I’ve come to learn that sometimes, going with the flow and letting others take charge, can really relieve stress, and make the experience more joyful.
10. Being grateful. I’ve learned I have to make a conscious effort to be grateful and show others gratitude. And it’s made a real difference. Not only has it helped to build stronger relationships with others, but it’s also helped me to be more forgiving and happier in general. Rather than giving gifts and expecting something back, I now only give gifts for the joy of watching them receive it. If you’re grateful for what you already have, and expect nothing, then everything positive seems like a bonus, and it’s really helped me to cope better during difficult times.

Christmas and Hannukah are about love, hope, celebration of miracles, and joy. These tactics have helped remind me of this, and I hope they help you, too.